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Blonde joke?
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ***?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last *******.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Lovely keep them coming. lol

Do you watch porn movies? Help?
Here is my question, back in 1990 i watched a porn movie that i really would love to watch again but unfortunately i cant remember its name. If you watch porn then you might be able to help, I've been looking for this movie since i lost it with no luck at all :(
the movie talks about a blond country girl who travels to Hollywood dreaming to be a star. she plays the innocent girl part who doesnt know anything about sex. a "scamer" finds her and gets her into porn with promises of making her a star. the first action scene of this movie "as far as i remember" is where the guy hypnotized her and had a ******* :p

If you watched this movie before i would really appreciate any help with any link leads to it or at least the name of the movie. Thanks

Candy Goes to Hollywood.

Selection of blonde jokes.?
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.
Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10¢ a screw!
Submitted by: Claude Wimberly
Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!
Submitted by: Ian R. Almond
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.
Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde b*tch going to leave!?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces him/her self.
A2: Walks home.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don't know.
R: Neither did she.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last *******.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"
Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball

Cool! Where did you get all these?

Blondes jokes.....................????…
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.

Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde ***** going to leave!?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces him/her self.
A2: Walks home.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don't know.
R: Neither did she.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last *******.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.

Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.

Confucius say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up.

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.

Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.

... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Omg your such a legend. I wrote half of these down. I LOVE you! Now i can annoy my best friend all the time! Thank you soooo much! xxx

What do you think of this story?
Carter didn't know what to think when he saw Savannah walk passed him without even saying hello. He wanted to know what he did to her to make her act so aloof around him. When he went back to check his Facebook the comments she had sent to him were gone. Somehow she must have found out that he liked Nicole and she must have gotten upset over it. But Savannah wasn't the kind of person to get mad at him for something like that. She had seemed okay with the fact that they were over. At times she would act like she missed him, but other times she was just her usual self. He didn't know what could have possessed her to act distant towards him.
As much as he hated to admit it, he still liked her. There was no way he could stop being attracted to her. Her sultry look, almost-black eyes, sweet personality, and her hot little body was what he enjoyed the most about her. Now she was just a good friend of his. And for some reason he felt empty by that knowledge.
Heather Gleason walked with him to the bus stop. She wore a blue blouse, a white, pencil skirt, and black heels. Her strawberry-blond hair was put up into a bun. She was planning on attending a funeral later that day.
"Have you talked to Savannah?" he asked her, making his way through several students. "She seems mad at me."
"Well, of course she is." replied Heather. "You're dating Nicole. She just hasn't moved on, yet."
"I'm not dating her!" Carter said, annoyed by Heather's presumptuous behavior.
"Sorry," Heather said, looking taken aback. "It's just that she's asked you to the Sadie Hawking's dance."
"And I accepted." Carter confirmed. "It's just that it's not official."
"Do you want to date her?"
"I don't know."
Carter really liked Nicole. She was a sweet person with a good sense of humor. No one could turn a girl like her down. But there was something that was holding him back from him. It could have been Savannah. Maybe the thought of dating Nicole sent him on a guilt trip. He shouldn't have to feel guilty, though. He and Savannah were over. And they seemed to be fine with that. Obviously Savannah didn't care, because she had delete him as a friend. He was hurt by her sudden dislike for him. He didn't know what he could have possibly done to turn her off.
"Oh," exclaimed Heather, as if remembering something that was in the back of her head. "Will is such a creep. He keeps bragging to his friends about sleeping with Savannah. Then he asked me for a *******. I threaten to spray my new Sarah Jessica Parker perfume in his face."
That was another thought that surfaced in his head. What if it had something to do with her and Will? What if they were going out? But Savannah wouldn't associate herself with a guy like him. Carter just had to keep reminding himself that.
"Hey, Heather." Andy said, approaching them with Maris trailing behind. "Sorry about the misunderstanding last night. My line got cut off."
"It's alright." Heather smiled as she allowed him to put an arm around her. "It's all good."
"What's wrong with him?" he asked, noticing Carter's dejected expression.
"He's sad because Vanny delete him as a friend." answered Heather.
Andy's face crinkled in confusion. "Really? That's weird. Why?"
"It must be something I said to her." shrugged Carter. "I did kind of sound like I was hitting on her when I talked to her on Facebook. Maybe she got turned off."
Andy sighed. "No, it's just that time of the month for her."

So far it's pretty good. Hopefully you are planning on adding more to the story, maybe something more about why she's so mad at him other than Nicole. I think there might need to be a little more depth in the plot, but so far so good. Oh and the first time you use the word "passed" it should be past.

Sex Question.....Adults please?
okay so ive had sex twice in my life. both times with the same girl who is blond big boobs and just sooo gorgeous. like there is no reason i should be having this problem....

so both times weve had sex i havent came. she gave me a ******* for like 10 minutes and i still didnt ***. idk what it is. the only thing i could think of is my masterbation habits. i have a labtop and everynight i watch porn on pornhub.com and *** in like 10 minutes.

since the last time i didnt *** i have given up masterbating while watching porn because i want to be able to *** during sex. so my questions are

1. is masterbating the problem or is it something else
2. i was thinking if it was a good idea to masterbate in the shower or something no to pornos...

please help its driving me crazy!!!
i know there are alot of sex experts out there....

Richard, or can I call you Dick? Masturbation will only affect how long it takes you if you do it about an hour before you have sex. Not every guy can c um from a blo wjob either. Don't worry about that. And believe me, most of us girls would love to find a guy who doesn't pop off a minute after he sticks it in.

If you keep worrying about this, you will just make it worse. Just relax and go with the feeling.

Sl